Try to remember that caring for others in our lives can be incredibly satisfying, extremely negative, and a little bit of everything in-between. All of this is to be expected. Caregiving frustrations also mean there are better days and tolerable days and even joyful days ahead.
Feeling frustration when you don’t feel a loved one is acting in their own best interest leads to a resignation which leads to guilt, and then we worry if we are not doing enough. It is commonly seen but not recognized as all these emotions wrapped up into one.
Caregiving frustrations. Sound familiar?
It gets worse as aging parents become less independent and more disabled.
Are you at the peak or valley of adult care frustrations?
In more positive sibling circumstances, there is respect and gratitude, when each takes on what they do best and what they can contribute.
Or is there resentment by the adult child who takes on primary responsibility for the care of a parent, and whose siblings don’t offer to help?
Here is some of what we all go through with caregiving frustration:
- Fear of what the future holds and losing control someday
- Feelings of guilt for not doing enough or doing the right thing
- Joy in taking care of someone who took care of you first
- Anger that it could have been done better but just didn’t know how
- Embarrassed not to know what to do or how to act around a disability
- Share your feeling with others. Talk about your feelings of loss, anger, hopelessness, or even joy.
These are real feelings, and you absolutely have a right to share them.
Find support. You don’t have to go it alone — confide in a spouse, sibling, counselor or close friend.
Share responsibilities. Learn to ask for help sooner than later and line people up to help. They would, if they just knew what you wanted them to do.
Acknowledge that you can’t do it all perfectly. Remember, you don’t need it perfect. We all have things we do well and there are things we need help with.
The emotions described above are real and they need to be acknowledged. And they are ever-changing, often daily.
Find the special person who has been through what you are going through and grab hold of them.
For more information on the Caregiver Haven FREEDOM Club, an exclusive club with personal coaches to help solve any and all caregiving problems, click below.
Once we set up your personalized plan, we guide you through what needs to be done next so you have the courage, trust, and support you need to give care to an elderly person.
No one should have to do this alone. All coaches are professionals who have worked in geriatrics and/or the medical fields and are here to help.
Who needs guilt when we can have joy, peace, and love?