by Suzanne Fiscella, PA-C, BCPA

How to Trust Others

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trust

May 1, 2023 in Boundaries, Self-care

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To trust another to do, behave, or share a truth can be a dangerous thing. Here's what happened...
This past weekend I hosted a family reunion.
Cousins we had not seen in years, children all grown up, and new babies never met were all in attendance.

While texts and emails got us all together, the pictures taken, the special hugs, the laughter, the home movies, and watching the new children play in the pool were not online.  These came with a personal touch.

We are torn between two worlds.
When Amazon first launched way back in 1994, it had a very clear mission. To allow readers to access new and old books without going to a store.

Ironically, one of Jeff Bezos’ biggest challenges was keeping the cost of shipping down. And shipping costs are a by-product of online shopping.

Fast forward 29 years and things have changed dramatically. Amazon IS retail shopping. It’s all online, and physical stores are at a loss on how to compete with this convenience.

So, what else has changed?
Dating is online.
Banking is online.
Telemedicine is online.
College classes are online.
Paying for parking is even online.

But what is not online?
Caregiving.
Family relationships.
Personal relationships.
Raising children.
Solidifying a marriage.
Enjoying a night out with friends.

As I think about the sharp contrast between these worlds, what really comes to mind is the human interaction we all long for. That personal touch that relationships bring together. This is not found in online processing but found in face-to-face conversation.

But…what is common between these two worlds?
Trust.
We trust that Amazon will ship our products after we have paid for them.
We trust that banks will keep our money secure and free from hackers.
We trust our family to help us.
Your loved ones trust that you will care for them.
We trust ourselves to do right by others.

As Steven Covey said, "Trust is the highest form of human motivation. It brings out the very best in people."

It is this trust in one another that makes both online and personal touch succeed.

As we observe May Day today, let’s not forget this unique celebration.
It is one of the oldest and most commonly held celebrations in the world. Most cultures have been celebrating May Day since the middle ages.

It signifies seasonal change, the renewed birth of spring, renewed energy, spirit, and strength.

Regardless of which world you spend most of your time in, with trust in your back pocket and renewed strength in your view, you have to know that you are an incredible gift to those around you.

How to trust someone who continually lets you down

We trust online reviews, Google searches, friend referrals, and so much more. But perhaps it is time to do some spring cleaning in celebration of May Day.  For your own healthy self's sake, who do you need to release from your life?  Who have you been repeatedly trusting but continually letting you down?  Who do you know will disappoint?  Isn't it time to let them go?

As I completed the family reunion, a huge success, I felt the one person who had promised to help had severely let me down (again). In fact, he ghosted me and the attendees. I could dwell on this but instead, I thought about all the others who pitched in and helped. It then hit me, this person who promised to help really didn't like family reunions.  He liked being with his own family, not all the cousins, brothers, and sisters he had. Caught up in the moment to say "yes" when he should have said "no" was a common occurance for him. He had a right to like his wife, children, and grandchildren and not the family he grew up in. He has the right to feel comfortable with what works for him. It was indeed my fault for trusting this person when I knew better. 

See my free guide on 10 Ways to Set Boundaries Without Hurting Others

Only you can decide what works for you and what doesn't.  Say "Yes" to a relationship that keeps hurting you only pulls you down.  So many patients have said that when they pull away from that person who continually hurts them, the one the can no longer trust, they feel a weight lifted off their chest - they breathe so much easier. Let them go. 



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About the Author

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Suzanne Fiscella, PA-C, BCPA 

Do you feel frustrated with your medical care? Do doctors spend 5 minutes with you, push you out of the office, with you wondering what's going to happen? Does your insurance deny paying? You're not alone. I'm frustrated, too. This is a growing trend in healthcare. Having seen pre-insurance medicine (yes, my dad was an old country doctor), I grew up watching him spend time with his patients, giving them the best care he had to offer. I saw families trust him to help them through hospitalizations and the next crisis. As a patient advocate, my job is to see that you get the right diagnosis, the right treatment plans, and the right supplies and education to make good decisions about your health. More importantly, I will teach you the tricks of the healthcare trade. We need more healthcare consumer protection, especially for chronic illnesses like diabetes. This is what I am passionate about. I make it happen every day with thousands of patients who now know what I know about beating the healthcare system and getting the best patient care...Patient Best.

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This blog provides general information and discussions about health and related subjects. The information and other content provided in this blog, or in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. If you or any other person has a medical concern, you should consult with your healthcare provider or seek other professional medical treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something that has been read on this blog or in any linked materials. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or emergency services immediately. The opinions and views expressed on this blog and website have no relation to those of any academic, hospital, health practice or other institution. Nor does this material constitute a provider-patient relationship between the reader and the author. 

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