Getting others to support your diabetes program is a challenge. You struggle with diabetes, or you've just been recently diagnosed. You go home you tell your family about this and one of two things happens.
Either your loved ones ignore you and continue to cook like they normally do putting food in front of you know you can't eat and shouldn't eat. No matter how many times you mention that you have to pay attention to your sugars, it is ignored. Adding insult to injury is the fact that it's awfully hard not to want to eat what everyone else is eating because it just smells so good.
On the other hand you have a totally different situation. Your spouse or the one doing the cooking is constantly reminding you what you cannot eat. They are cooking for you in a way that you never see any sugar or even any salt in any of your food. You go to taste something and they almost knock it out of your hand. They are very aggressive in telling you that you cannot or shouldn't be eating those foods and will constantly remind you throughout the day that it's not good for you. You may even get to a point that it drives you so crazy you decide to just start sneaking food when they're not looking.
How to get others to support you
Both of these are very common occurrences when someone is diagnosed with diabetes or heart disease. Your physician sees this every single day in their offices and they deal with it if you tell them what's really going on.
But you are at a point now where you have to say something and you have to speak up. You need to set boundaries about what you can do and what you can't do.
How many times have you found yourself in a situation where you think about what you should have said after the fact? Maybe you said yes to something you really didn’t want to do, or you allowed someone to belittle you without any kind of repercussion.
This is a common problem, especially if you have a pushover/people pleaser personality. You give 110% to gaining the approval of others and don’t think twice about sacrificing your own wants and needs so that someone else is happy.
Here are 3 simple, but effective ways to find your voice without being rude or hurtful.
Be Intentional with Your Words
When it comes to speaking up for what matters to you, it’s important to do it in a way that is deliberate and intentional. First, get to the root of the problem and then decide what and why it’s really bothering you. By doing this, you get a clear picture of what you want and don’t want, and it makes it easier to convey that to the other person.
Choose your words wisely when confronting someone and make sure you don’t come across as accusatory. Most people will put up the defenses quickly if they feel like they are being accused of something. Stay neutral with your tone and be clear with your concerns. You could even offer a suggestion to help remedy the problem at hand. Try NOT to say the word, “You” as you speak with them.
For example, if your spouse is still cooking foods you cannot eat, then say, ” I’ve always loved your cooking. It’s an art how your meals come together. With diabetes, I know you’ll find recipes, or help me find recipes that keep me my sugars in check. And I couldn’t do this without you.”
By doing it this way, you can still get your point across without causing hurt feelings or bad vibes between you and your spouse.
Add No to Your Vocabulary
If it’s been a huge struggle for you to say the word no, rest assured you’re definitely not alone. In fact, saying no may be one of the most difficult things in the world to do, especially for those that have people pleaser tendencies. You don’t want to rock the boat or make anyone mad, so you simply go through life being a yes person.
The bad thing is, by not knowing how to say no enough, you are doing yourself and the world a disservice because you’re sacrificing your wants, needs and opinions for the happiness of others. While this may seem like a noble thing to do to those reaping in the benefits of your “selflessness,” all it does is cause you a huge inner struggle that ends in frustration and resentment.
Start small and visualize how a situation could have gone differently if you had of said no in the past. Then practice, practice, practice. Saying no doesn’t mean you have to be rude and hurtful. You can be polite, but firm and still walk away knowing you did the right thing.
How long does it take to get others to support you
And it takes practice. Do you ever notice how others are never asked to do things, but you are? It takes practice, at least 3 times to say no to someone before they hear you.
For example, your spouse wants to go to a restaurant and you know you cannot eat a lot of the foods on the menu. You can say, “Well, let’s think about it. If we go there and I cannot eat, should I eat ahead of time?”
Or, let’s say your spouse does not want you eating anything until the food labels are read and analyzed. You might say, “Let’s test this and see if it makes my sugars go up!”
Or, the meal placed in front of you is something you have no desire to eat. Saying “No” can be an action. Get up and make a meal you would prefer. Let the person know you appreciate their efforts but you must watch you health.
Expect others to balk at your new-found strength. Just keep reminding yourself, that others set boundaries with this very person and they are OK with it. You can be, too.
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